HOW TO OVERCOME TRAUMA.
HOW TO OVERCOME TRAUMA.
*Our outer appearance is important to us, to some more than others, but needless to say as a woman i like my face to look clean and smooth. As an adult i have realized that my skin breaks out more than when i did when i was a teen, i normally don’t venture out into a lot of new products, since i have very sensitive skin and everything makes me break out. But i got this great free sample at my local Walgreens Pharmacy and i tried it. I loved it, my skin felt so refreshed, smooth, and most of all no break out’s. Yeah!!! I give it 2 thumbs up! What products do you like?
Did you know that in 2013 the latest statistics stated that, the average woman’s size in America is a 12/14. That being said recently I have lost 52 pounds and went from a size 18 to a 10-12. Believe it or not I’m finding it harder to buy jeans now than before are they to tight, to long, to short, to baggie etc. Being this smaller size is great but mentally and emotionally speaking i still see that chunky girl in the mirror, and that is the psychology of weight loss. So I did some research and I gathered some great ideas and information about plus size and curvy jeans.
1) Were are the Pockets?
This is easily the biggest issue with all jeans, and the problem is only magnified in the plus-sized jean world. It is critical to the health of all jeans.
Here are the keys to proper pocket placement:
a. Proportionally sized pockets
b. Correctly Placed Pockets – covering the bottom curvature of the butt
c. Width between pockets – minimize as much as possible.
Proportionally sized pockets are a must – if you have a larger butt, you need larger pockets achieve butt balance. If you have a smaller butt, you need smaller pockets to prevent butt flattening. Basically, you want the pocket to properly cover your butt, but not over cover your butt.
Your pockets should come down an inch or two PAST the bottom curvature of your butt to prevent Long Butt, cover to the sides of your butt to prevent Elbow Butt, and have as little room as possible between the pockets to prevent Wide Butt.
2) Leg Width
Many people assume that the bigger the leg opening, the smaller the body will appear. This is definitely not the case. Although I hardly ever recommend a stick-to-your-ankle skinny jean for anyone, a narrower leg tends to slim, where a bulky leg can weigh you down and shorten your legs. Also, it should be noted that the term “Skinny Jean” has come encompass a vast range of leg opening widths, from a jegging that clings to every curve and dimple, to what used to be called a straight cut or barely boot.
3) Fabric Color and Fading
As a rule, darker jeans are almost always more flattering. They minimize, streamline, and cover over a multitude of cellulite. However, this is just a rule. If a light pair happens to look really good, go with it. Also, don’t be afraid of color. I personally was very frightened by it for a long time, but have recently come around.
4) How does it fit?
Jeans should be fitted but not clinging. I use the back of the thigh and the butt to determine all good fits.
Don’t have a saggy butt, but definitely don’t have The Upside-Down Heart Crack Cling. Make sure that your thighs are fitted to the point that the denim wrinkles finely and horizontally, but are not so tight that your leg is squishing out from between the wrinkles. And finally, I urge you to find an honest friend to shop with you, because you literally cannot see your own butt. The right jeans can be a miracle for your body.
Learn the different shaped of denim. Overall, there are generally five styles, with variances to those, depending on what is trending at the moment. They are:
Boot Cut– this universal cut skims the thigh, with a slight opening, breaking at the knee
Skinny– this fashion forward denim skims the thigh, and remains fitted through the calf and ankle
Straight Leg- Similar to a boot cut and a skinny, this style is wider than a skinny leg opening and relaxed yet not as flared as a boot cut.
Wide leg– oftentimes referred to as a trouser jean, this denim is fitted at the waist and through the seat, and starts to flare at the top of your thigh, and continues to flare throughout
Flare leg– this denim usually is extremely fitted through the thigh and significantly flared out, more so than a boot cut.
This refers to where the denim hits on your waist. This is the length of the fabric from the crotch seam to the top of the waistband. Knowing the rise of your denim will help deter plumbers crack or muffin top, can elongate the legs, and enhance the rear.
High Rise– At over eleven inches these jeans traditionally cover the belly button. You will find this at or above the waistline.
Natural Rise– Regular rise jeans sit between nine to eleven inches. The waistband sits right at or below the belly button.
Low Rise– Can vary around eight inches, but vary an inch up or down. Expect this jean to sit around two-three inches below the belly button.
Super Low Rise– No more than a seven inch rise and varies from there. The rise can go as low as three inches above the crotch
*Spandex and Lycra*
The magic of denim and its ability to hug to your curves is the blending of both Spandex and Lycra. The use of either one of these is what gives the denim its stretch.
Give me your thoughts on this article, thx email@example.com
*SO THIS WEEK I WAS WATCHING THE BIGGEST LOOSER AND THEIR WAS A BIG CONTROVERSY, WITH THE WINNER, SHE WAS A BIG GIRL AND LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT, BUT THE QUESTION WAS DID SHE LOOSE TO MUCH? WAS SHE TO THIIN? I DID NOT LIKE THOSE COMMENTS I THINK SHE LOOKS GREAT AND SHE WAS AN ATHLETE BEFORE SHE LOST THE WEIGHT WHO ARE WE TO SAY WHAT IS TO SKINNY? I FOUND THIS GREAT ARTICLE ON PSYCHOLOGY TODAY AND I WANTED TO SHARE IT WITH YOU*
*A Positive Take on Losing Weight*
For the majority of my adult life, I rarely stepped on a scale, and thought about weight even less. So I was rather surprised when, after about 5 years, I did my most recent check-in. The first scale I tried was clearly broken, saying I was up about 25 pounds from the last time I weighed myself.
But then, the second one said the same thing. And so did the third. The following days, weeks, and months of embracing the reality of my weight gain and slowing metabolism– and my commitment to turning around both– have been fascinating, empowering, and fun.
That’s the response I’ve heard time and again since I began this journey a little over a month ago, a response that gets more emphatic as the pounds continue to fall away (currently up to, or rather, down, 10).
Seeing people’s shock, I realized how differently I view weight and self-image and therefore, what an opportunity it could be to share my experience. Particularly at this time of year, when eating and weight are brought into such sharp, and not necessarily healthy, focus.
Having not weighed myself for so long, my initial reaction was denial. I was healthy, happy, felt great about myself, and looked good (I’m one of those people who carries weight well).
Yet even after I accepted the reality of the situation– little aches and pains had started to creep in, the dry cleaner couldn’t shrink all of my clothes that much, certain pictures revealed that I didn’t carry weight thatwell– I still had a hard time dropping the pounds. Something was in the way, and I wasn’t sure what it was.
After a couple of months, I finally figured it out. While I wanted to lose the weight, there was a larger commitment I was tenaciously holding to: the belief that I shouldn’t have to, that my metabolism shouldn’t be slowing down, and that I should be able to continue eating whatever I want.
In essence, I believed that I shouldn’t have to deal with what everyone else on the planet does: Reality. For years, I’ve written about reward theory: why we never achieve our goals so long as there is a larger one to which we– consciously or otherwise– are attached. So the realization that I was reward theory’s new and best posted child, was, to say the least, bittersweet.
Much as I wanted to lose the 25 pounds, believing that I shouldn’t have to was more powerful. And so the weight piled on. And stayed. Finally aware of this underlying belief, I had a decision to make: pride or humility. Choosing the latter, I felt a sense of empowerment return as I re-framed my relationships with health, aging, and weight loss into more positive ones. I started dancing and working out, ate more healthily, and made a game out of weekly-weigh ins. And soon after, the results– rather than the reward structures I’d been holding onto– began to speak for themselves.
Recognizing and shifting any dis-empowering notions about weight and health are important first steps. But there are larger issues at play in our culture with which weight is so often inexorably intertwined: Self-image, self-confidence, and self-worth.
Having spent my life in the music business, I have and continue to see the close ties between notions of appearance, weight, and worth. While certainly exacerbated by industry specific demands, they are in fact a reflection of the larger culture. The rates of eating disorders, self-mutilation, shame, suicidal thoughts, and self-loathing are and have for too long been on the rise, particularly in young people.
A proper and comprehensive look at the reasons behind these increases would require another article, and thankfully, many terrific ones have been written on the subject. And the majority at least touch upon a common issue: that imposed, scarcity-based, and even unhealthy notions of beauty set often impossible standards which people are then conditioned to try and achieve.
Couple these standards with the billions spent on advertising and marketing each year, as well as our hyper-sexualized and often shame-based media culture, and it’s no surprise that personal as well as physical confidence begin to wane. Constantly bombarded by and comparing themselves to the air brushed and buffed images staring back from movies and the pages of magazines, people see themselves as falling short in more than the physical sense.
Knowing Who You Really Are
While a worthy cause, the battle for a healthier media culture is an uphill one. Advertisers are well aware of social psychology, including the profitability of attraction, competition, and the quest for perfection.
Fortunately, we can undo the expensive work of advertisers by beginning a conversation about the true nature of self and what it is that defines who we are. So who are you? Who are you if not your body? If not your hair, your face, the approval of others… the skin and bones that move you through the world?
You are the precious and glorious being within that external shell: Your heart. Your soul. Your spirit. Your curiosity. Your passion, hopes, and dreams. Your ability to love. Your desire to make a difference.
This is who you are, who we all are. Time will certainly change the shape and nature of our appearance; tragedy and illness often contort how we once looked. Yet neither matter; none of these changes diminish who we are.
Like so much of life’s wisdom, only in letting go do we gain what it is we wish for. Having long ago realized that who I am is not a function of my body, I have been able to enjoy and appreciate it in any state and at any weight, and now, to play with the latter. To effortlessly and joyfully renew and fulfill my commitment to my health, rather than resist or remain stubbornly and insecurely attached to ideas of how I should look.
This is my hope for each of you. To look past the messages of the media and to see yourselves with a sense of appreciation, wonder, gratitude, and love. You are not your body. You are so much more than it could ever contain. Know this, and an extraordinary relationship with your body– as well as with your true self– finally becomes possible.
What No One Tells You about Losing Lots of Weight
**After loosing 52 pounds people keep asking me how i feel, and coments like you look fabulous, wow look at you, and some not so nice coments. But as i was looking at myself and thinking how blessed i am to be “Thin or Skinny”, i also realized that this weigh loss comes with added weight of its own. I walk into the stores and i still look at the plus size, i see thin people and still say to myself, wow they look better than me, and no matter how great 52 pounds might be to many people, to me its still ok but not good enough. The Psychology of Weight loss is not the weight itself, but the internal process of who you are and who you become once you loose the weight. My husband tells me how beautiful i am and im sure to him i am, and i love it when he tells me, still a part of me dosent accept the fact that someone else can see “ME” and think beauty, thin, wondeful or amazing. Becuase trully and honestly at the young age of 35 im still trying to find this person evrey one else seems think is great.**
This article is amazing an i wanted to share it with you.
Just after her wedding in 2009, when she weighed 338 pounds and became determined to lose much of it, photographer Julia Kozerski embarked on a new art project. She took photos of herself in department-store dressing rooms, documenting her body’s transformation as she lost what would end up being 160 pounds.
Scroll through the series, “Changing Room,” on Kozerski’s website, and you’ll find, at first, pretty much exactly what you might expect: full-length selfies, with Kozerski’s lovely smile growing larger as her body grows smaller. It seems like a fun, empowering project: Kozerski, 29, is fond of animal prints and platform pumps that draw attention to a unicorn tattoo near her left ankle. You could literally chart the development of her confidence by the height of her hemlines. About two-thirds of the way through the series, though, two unexpected images creep in: extreme close-ups on Kozerski’s face, devastated, tear-stained. They’re jarring: What happened to the smiling, excited woman in heels?
A possible answer lies in another set of self-portraits Kozerski took inspired by her weight loss. Called “Half,” it is a series of nudes with a much more sober, even confrontational tone: These photos highlight Kozerski’s stretch marks, loose skin, stretched navel, sagging breasts. She looks, unsmiling, down at her body, or out into the distance. The “Changing Room” photos place Kozerski in the conventional story our culture tells about weight loss: the no-brainer cause and effect of “Look Great, Feel Good!,” as cheerfully suggested by People magazine’s weight-loss cover stories and The Biggest Loser‘s original theme song. The “Half” photos, by contrast, explore Kozerski’s surprise at eventually finding that happily-ever-after image lacking.
“Everything starts sagging, and you’ve got stretch marks, and clothes fit differently, you’re kind of panicking, and you’re saying, ‘Am I doing the right thing? Because this shirt doesn’t look right,'” she says. “I was very, very – I don’t want to say depressed, but I would get really down on myself about, like, ‘I’m not doing this correctly,’ or, ‘This isn’t what it’s supposed to look like.'” For Kozerski and many like her, the experience of significant weight loss is much more psychologically complex than the multi-billion-dollar diet industry, with its beaming “after” photos and promises of a new life, acknowledges. After all that work, it can be a disappointing blow to discover that bodies that have lost 50-plus pounds simply don’t look like bodies that have maintained a steady weight since reaching adulthood. (While cosmetic surgeries like those can treat loose skin, stretch marks, and sagginess, they’re also expensive, invasive, and mostly absent from the fairy-tale weight loss success stories we see depicted so often.)
“You sort of feel like someone shortchanged you on the satisfaction of things,” explains John Janetzko, a Harvard grad student who has lost 120 pounds. “I feel, oddly, more aware of everything – [like] when I lean forward, if I feel like I have any stomach fat that’s there. And it’s strange, because I’m like, ‘Well, how did this not bother me before?’ … It becomes this nagging, incessant reminder of, you did something, but maybe it wasn’t enough, maybe you should keep going.” Beyond just the surprise of a new body that still may not conform to the social standard of how a beautiful one should look, reaching a goal weight often leaves ex-dieters bewildered as to where to go from here – and upset to find that even after this tremendous accomplishment, they still aren’t completely satisfied with their bodies.
“I haven’t spoken to a single person who lost a ton of weight and didn’t have some issues with their eating habits or body image after it was done,” Janetzko says. “And I’m pretty sure if you asked them at the beginning, they all thought that it would just be magic, and they would feel better automatically when they lost the weight.” Despite now being a very lean 166 pounds at just under six feet tall (and training for a marathon!), Janetzko says he still doesn’t see a thin or fit person when he looks in the mirror. “While you’re dieting and the scale is going down, it’s incredibly motivating when you get on the scale,” explains Dr. Judith Beck, a psychologist who specializes in applying strategies of cognitive behavioral therapy to weight loss. “After you’ve been at the same weight for months and months and months and months, it’s no longer thrilling to get on the scale.” And continuing to work hard to maintain a new body that feels alien is a task even more complicated than achieving that body in the first place.
For at least some newly thin people, there’s a meta-dissatisfaction in feeling that significant weight loss has made life anything other than perfect: Any discomfort you may feel with your body is compounded by a sense of shame at not feeling unmitigated pride at a moment you expected to be triumphant. “It’s a fantasy, that when we lose weight, everything wrong in our lives is going to be right — that means our relationships are going to be right, we’re going to feel completely differently about ourselves,” says Geneen Roth, a New York Times bestselling author of books on eating who also leads retreats and workshops, and who herself lost between 60 and 70 pounds in her late twenties. “People are shocked to find out that this thing that they’ve been longing for and waiting for and working for is not what they thought it was.”
“I don’t think [it’s] exclusive to large amounts of weight loss. I feel like that [dissatisfaction] often happens with people who are really successful, who have really made it,” Roth says. “And then they find that, ‘Oh, this doesn’t do what I thought it was going to do, and now I feel ashamed that I’m still unhappy.'” Even when talking about her weight loss, Kozerski says there’s no room to share the full experience – like when she went on a popular talk show to share her story. “They’re putting me in Spanx, and I’m like, ‘This is not what I want to talk about; this is not at all how I want to come out,'” she says. “I would rather put it all out there.”
“If you walk into the grocery store, you see [magazines] on display – this person lost all this weight, and now they look like this,” Janetzko says. “A rational human being would look at it and recognize, ‘Oh, okay, it’s edited.’ But you do still feel kind of guilty; like, I look at that and think, ‘Well, I lost that much weight, and I don’t look like that.'” Reps for People declined to comment for this story because an editor wasn’t available to explain some of the magazine’s choices – retouching “after” photos in weight-loss spreads, for example, or strategically hiding the kinds of unflattering features Kozerski’s work focuses on, like loose skin and stretch marks. As for The Biggest Loser, executive producer Dave Broome, reached by e-mail, argues the show’s primary emphasis is on health, not aesthetics: “When you have one foot in the grave (as many of our contestants do when coming on to the show), being concerned about what your skin might look like after you lose weight becomes a minor issue compared to dying or having a significantly shorter life span because of obesity-related issues,” he writes.
Broome also mentioned that contestants have access to psychological counseling both during and after filming. And in his view, the show doesn’t present weight loss as a shortcut to self-acceptance: “Coming on to The Biggest Loser isn’t a magic pill that fixes you for the rest of your life.” Still, it’s hard not to get that impression when you visit the website for the Biggest Loser Resort, a fitness retreat affiliated with the show: “Everyone deserves a long, rewarding life, amazing relationships with friends and family, and satisfying and productive careers,” it helpfully points out. “That all starts with a balanced, healthy lifestyle.” Which you can achieve, presumably, by losing weight.
Cultural fantasies of weight loss present a tidy, attractive proposition – lose weight, gain self-acceptance – without addressing the whole truth: that body image post-weight loss is often quite complicated. Perhaps that helps explain why the rate of recidivism among people who have lost significant amounts of weight is shockingly high – by some estimates, more than 90 percent of people who lose a lot of weight will gain it back. Of course, there are lots of other reasons: genetic predisposition towards obesity, for one. For another, someone who’s lost 100 pounds to get to 140 pounds will need to work harder – including eating much less each day – to maintain that weight than someone who’s been at it her entire life. (Tara Parker-Pope’s excellent piece “The Fat Trap” explains these physiological factors in much greater detail.) But what about the psychological? Who would be surprised if a person – contending with both a new body that looks different from the one she feels she was promised, and the loneliness of feeling there’s no way to express that disappointment – returned to the familiar comfort of overeating? At least its effects are predictable.
So how can we better prepare extreme dieters for the reality of losing so much weight? Beyond more realistic portrayals of what post-diet bodies look like, we might also do well to reduce our emphasis on numbers – on the starting weights and goal weights that define the “beginning” and “end” of weight loss. The people I spoke with who had lost significant weight either never had a goal weight in the first place, never reached it, or saw it change during the course of their diets. In Dr. Beck’s diet plan, she explains, “We define ideal weight as the weight that you get down to when you’re eating in a healthy way that you can keep up with for your whole life.”
Maybe diet culture could stand to take a page from sobriety culture, too. Just as you don’t complete the twelve steps and celebrate with a bottle of wine, the idea that extreme weight loss has an end point after which life reverts to “normal” leaves dieters with very little recourse once the thrill of weight loss has ended. For those who have struggled with food, maintaining new habits is a lifelong, day-by-day process.
Weight-loss discourse would be healthier, too, if more focus were placed on the small, measurable, tangible positive effects it has on our lives rather than the giant, life-defining, theoretical, eventually unattainable ones. John Janetzko, for example, spoke glowingly about the new role sports play in his life – he’s discovered he loves doing something he’d never felt confident enough to try before. Julia Kozerski waxes poetic about farmers’ markets and bike rides. The most important thing, though, is to stop allowing ourselves to be told that everything would be different if we could just lose the weight. Big, important things about people’s lives do change after they’ve lost weight – and yes, often for the better – but no one becomes a different person. You’re still you, even when you’re half of your former self.
This week for Christmas my wonderful husband gifted me this amazing Alex and Ani Bracelet. Now i’m not big on jewelry and only wear my watch and wedding ring, mostly for religious reasons, but as i opened my presents i saw how amazing this bracelet is. And this is why i’m writing this article. Then my brother gifted me this Alex and Ani “S” initial. This Bracelet is not only very nice but simple and not gaudy and it means something. It’s made from recycled material, its not expensive and it’s very spiritual. What do you think? Do you have an Alex and Ani bracelet? What does it mean to you?
As i researched how Tea makes me feel i also discovered great effects of tea on our body. Here is some great information i wanted to share with you.
1.Tea can boost exercise endurance. Scientists have found that the catechism (antioxidants) in green tea extract increase the body’s ability to burn fat as fuel, which accounts for improved muscle endurance.
2. Drinking tea could help reduce the risk of heart attack. Tea might also help protect against cardiovascular and degenerative diseases. Drinking tea is linked with a lower risk of Parkinson’s disease
3. The antioxidants in tea might help protect against a boatload of cancers, including breast, colon, colorectal, skin, lung, esophagus, stomach, small intestine, pancreas, liver, ovarian, prostate and oral cancers.
4. Tea might provide protection from ultraviolet rays. We know it’s important to limit exposure to UV rays, and we all know what it’s like to feel the burn. The good news is that green tea may act as a back-up sunscreen.
5. Tea could be beneficial to people with Type 2 diabetes. Studies suggest that compounds in green tea could help diabetics better process sugars. Green tea has been found to improve bone mineral density and strength.
Part of Friday Psych Day is to bring up different topics about psych and fashion. I was at T.J. Maxx and as i was looking at the Christmas stuff, clearance and so much more, i realized that shopping can be a therapy. Not in an addictive way (lol) but more like looking and trying clothes, matching different colors and patterns and just being able to get a great item at a cheaper price and still love the fit and look of what ever outfit, shoes, accessory, home goods or candle you might purchase. After leaving the store i only purchased a box of Rose Hibiscus Tea, it felt good and i was excited to try this new flavor and brand, overall i did not find anything worth while but i did see several dresses, shoes and skirts i will keep an eye on for future possible purchases. Here are some pictures of T.J. Maxx and some of the great items i really liked.
The Psych behind 1st Impression
First impressions are formed rapidly, after seeing a face, body and clothes for a couple of seconds people make judgments about a person’s attributes. How much does a person’s dress style affect these judgments? I believe that people make rapid judgments of others based on clothing alone. I took pictures of people I covered their faces and I asked different people what they thought about each person and what kind of person, occupation, style or tastes those this person have. The results were incredible, some were shocking others were not and some were just simply weird.
Each lady has a different number, here are the comments of over 45 friends, family, church folk and random people I met at stores.
As a psychology graduate and fashion lover I look at clothes, shoes, scarves, dresses, purses and jackets in a different way. When I wear something I wear it to make me happy or because I love the specific color, or pattern or feel of the fabric. I was looking at several dresses and skirts and I noticed that they looked and felt great but I kept picking the black dresses, pants, top or shoes. A lot of celebrities tend to wear black as a staple. So I wanted to share with you what I thought of the color black and the psychology of it. When I wear this color it makes me feel thinner, more sophisticated and sexy. I love wearing a sheer or lacy dress, or fishnet tights, or some great sexy black heels. The color black is very beautiful, one of my favorites. In the thesaurus here are a list of other words we can use instead of just “black”, who would of thought we have so many words that describe the color black.
brunetstar charcoalstar cloudedstar coalstar
ebonystar jetstar obsidianstar onyxstar
sablestar slatestar sloestar negro
In the dictionary we also see the meaning of the“Color Black”.
DICTIONARY Lacking hue and brightness; absorbing light without reflecting any of the rays composing it. Characterized by absence of light; enveloped in darkness: a black night.
**Here are some fabulous black dresses, what colors do you like? How does it make you feel?**